Wednesday, 8 August 2012

The Final Countdown

Well, things are moving on.  I am now in my last month of notice period, my last day as a full-time employed person being 31st August 2012, a day that will definitely go down in the annals of my personal history although in what context is yet to be decided.
It may be remembered as my last day as a solvent person.  On the other hand I may look back fondly on my currently gibbering self and wish I could pat me gently on the back and whisper soothing words of reassurance.
The latest new is that I'm not sure whether to be pleased or appalled that my employers and I have come to an agreement which allows for my continuing involvement with the company, albeit not as an employee.

Gone is the (admittedly pretty pointless, given the state of pensions generally) company-paid pension scheme.  Gone are the paid holidays and the long service days (and I'd just earned my third, too, as I completed 15 years of service in June).  In their place will be self-employment on a monthly retainer, plus an hourly rate for any hours worked during the month in excess of 10.  I will be reimbursed petrol and accommodation for any visits.  They are also lending me a Blackberry, so that I can be contacted when not at my desk (which will be the vast majority of the time).

The cowardly, scaredy-cat wimp part of me is thrilled that I will at least be able to continue paying towards the household bills and the mortgage.  The part of me that summoned up the courage to start this whole change in motion is sneering at me undisguisedly.  What a wuss.  Not only am I not escaping the job and attendant stresses that brought me to this pass, but I will not even be safe when out and about, with a ticking Blackberry in my pocket.
Ah, but there's the difference - I can be out and about, I will not be attached to my desk by duty when the sun is shining and the gulls are calling me out to play on the beach.
There will be advantages and there will be disadvantages.  I will need to rejoice over one and come to terms with the other, as with most things in life.

I keep reminding myself that the important things is that things are changing, and that I had the courage to change them.  Now I have to find some more courage to deal with that.

1 comment:

  1. Woo Hoo!!! I think you made a very sensible decision. You've bought yourself a bit more freedom... and even though you did have to give up some security to get there, you're not completely on your own, so you can see what does and doesn't work for you.

    I'm fantasizing about playing with gulls on the beach!